Right in the Middle of the Mess
Right now, mornings probably look something like this…
Cereal on the floor, one shoe missing, somebody already outside before you've had your coffee. Some days it's sweet. Some days it's a lot.
And because it happens every day, it's easy to assume it always will.
It won't.
One day the shoes by the door will be a different size. Nobody will ask you to watch one more cartwheel in the backyard. The car seat will just be gone, and you won't even remember the last time you used it.
We're living through the years we'll miss most - right in the middle of the mess.
No one grows up and thanks their mom for a spotless kitchen. What they remember is smaller than that, being carried in half-asleep from the car, the sound of your voice saying their name, the joke that only your family finds funny.
What I'm Actually Looking For
That's what I'm looking for when I photograph a family, not a tidy house or still, quiet kids. I'm looking for what's already starting to disappear.
The way your daughter still reaches for your hand without thinking about it
The gap in your son's smile before his grown-up teeth come in
The way your whole family laughs at the same dumb thing, every single time
The particular chaos of your actual morning, not a staged one
None of that stays little for long.
A Few Small Ways to Hold Onto This Season
You don't need a special occasion or a tidy house to capture this. A few things that help
Don't clean up first.
The breakfast dishes, the toy on the floor, the blanket fort mid-collapse, that's the story, not the mess to hide.
Let them wear what they're already wearing.
Pajamas, mismatched socks, a favorite too-small shirt. Real beats coordinated.
Pick the time your family is actually awake.
Soft morning light through a kitchen window works just as beautifully as golden hour at the beach.
Keep doing what you were doing.
Pouring cereal, brushing hair, chasing someone down the hallway. I'll photograph around it, not stop it.
This is exactly the idea behind a Day in the Life session, no posing, no schedule to perform for, just your actual morning with someone there to notice it.
The Most Important Part
It's why I love this work along the San Diego coast, and just as much, right inside the kitchens and backyards of the families I photograph. Barefoot, a little sandy, a little sticky with breakfast, it doesn't matter where. A photograph taken while everyone forgets the camera is even there has a way of bringing you right back, years from now, to exactly how an ordinary Tuesday felt.
If mornings like this are already going by too fast, I'd love to help you hold onto one.
Want another way to slow down together, this time outdoors? Take a look at
Family Photos by the Ocean, it's the same feeling, just with sand between your toes.
Warmly, Ellen
